As a mother, you have the best intentions when raising your kids. Since the day they are born you fall madly in love with your little bundle of joy, whether it’s a girl or boy. You stare at your baby with a smile on your face as he sleeps thinking how angelic they look. You start picturing the well-behaved kids they will be. You never think about them misbehaving or that your toddler won’t cooperate when you speak to them.
You picture everyone eating quietly and civilized at dinner time. Where supermarket shopping went smoothly because your kids understand that they don’t need that toy gun or doll to be added to their already collection of toys at home. Where they call you just to say, “Mommy thank you for all you do for me” or “I love you mom” after a long hard day cleaning, cooking, feeding and so much more.
As your sweet baby grows right before your eyes, reality quickly kicks in. You can’t remember the last time you had 8 hours of sleep, a mommy day to yourself or even bought a new outfit just because. Your mornings are filled with house chores and attending the baby. From fixing bottles of milk, making breakfast, lunch, doing laundry, folding the laundry from 3 days ago and remembering that you have to pick up milk and Pampers plus groceries all before picking up your 4-year-old from school at 2pm. This may not be the case for some mothers as they have a 9 to 5 in order to pay the bills, but I’m sure we all share similar duties at one point or another. And don’t get me wrong, being a mother is a blessing and it fills my heart with joy watching my kids grow and learn so much.
Thinking my kid was going to listen when you ask him anything is where I was wrong. My firstborn Matthew, now 4 years old has shown me that being a mom is way harder than I envisioned. I remember when he was 2, everyone telling me “Oh get ready for the terrible twos”, I didn’t think anything of it as he was so well-behaved. So he turned 2 and it went by pretty smooth I would say. You would say something and he listened for the most part. No tantrums or talking back. There I was feeling proud, thinking I’ve done a hell of a job, my toddler is awesome!
Then he turned 3, terrible 3’s in my case. Matthew was adorable and you just wanted to cuddle him, until he expressed himself a little different from how you would want him to. He would let you know he doesn’t want to bathe; he doesn’t want to go to the supermarket, put his clothes on or eat his pasta. Not sure where he gets it from, but he was not being nice about it. His tone was loud and bossy. Bathing time was a nightmare, crying and screaming because he doesn’t want to bathe while having to soap him and water spraying everywhere. Something as simple as getting in the car was taking 20 minutes because he didn’t want to go food shopping or anywhere for that matter (dreading minutes may I add)
A week went by with this same behavior daily till I decided to use my resources (BabyCenter.com) for ways to handle situations when your kids talk back or don’t listen. And there it was, the heavenly angel sound playing in my head as I learned (at least most of the time it works) that he responds better when I “pre talk” him into what I want him to do or what we are going to be doing. For example, letting him know he needs to bathe, by giving him the heads up. I would let him know as he is playing video games, in 15 min (sometimes more) we are going to bathe. Sometimes he responds, with his “but, but mom I don’t want to shower” but I reiterate that he hasn’t bathed yet and he’s stinky. He usually agrees and the whole bathing process goes smoother.
As silly as it sounds, it works for different scenarios. Like when I know we have to do groceries, I let him know ahead of time. Usually the day before (if I expect to be there long) and I tend to make it sound fun. Saying something like, “Guess where we’re going tomorrow? Or later.” and he immediately gets curious as to where. I then mention one or several of his favorite treat and say, “We are going to buy your chocolate cookies tomorrow”. He usually responds positive with a Yay!
And while this may work for some more than others, I encourage you to give it a try. I’m thankful that it works for us and we are all less frustrated. I guess you can thank the internet for tips like that. I mean just thinking how our parents must have handled our tantrums way back in the days with not one but several little ones at a time.
If you have any tips on making the day go smoother with the little ones, feel free to share below.
Always nice to help a mommy in need… till next time ladies.
Don’t forget to check out my inspirational page https://thatmommylife.com/get-inspired/