If you were anything like me, the word miscarriage was not in your vocabulary. It’s not often women tell their stories about miscarriages. Today I’m sharing mine.
In December of 2010, my husband and I talked about having kids. We both agreed that it was time to start our family. It was early February of 2011 and I was late on my period. I assumed I was pregnant right away because I was hardly ever late. I remember going with a friend to the lab and getting a blood test. The results took a little over an hour so we waited. This was the most anxious I’ve ever been about anything in my life.
Results were in and as I unfolded the paper, my eyes went straight to that word. POSITIVE. We both screamed out of excitement.
So I got home and since hubby was working, I decided to leave the envelope with the test result on the dining room table (where he couldn’t miss it as he passed). Underneath positive, I wrote “You are going to be a daddy!” and drew a happy face. He was super happy when he saw it and we were already talking about our little seed growing inside of me. The next day at work, we spread the awesome news. We were going to be parents for the first time! It was an amazing feeling.
A friend of ours recommended a great GYNO in the city where we went for the first time check up.
A few days later, I woke up spotting. I was frightened immediately and called my doctor who recommended an emergency sonogram. This all occurred within 2 weeks of learning we were pregnant.
I went in and the sonogram nurse does the check up and says “I don’t see a fetus”. I was sure she was not looking right. She kept checking and she confirmed it. Tears started running down my cheeks. I will never forget how I felt at that moment. Confused and trying my best to hold it together I called my husband who was at work and told him. “There is no baby”. All that came out of my mouth was that, nothing else. While I waited for the doctor to see the results of the sonogram my husband arrived and hugged me. This was one of the saddest news we’ve ever gotten.
Doc confirms I miscarried. She was emotionless. While I sat there crying all my husband could ask was why did this happen, what caused it? The doctor went on about how common it was at this early stage of pregnancy and advised not to try conceiving again till at least 6 months.
I was down. Really down. I remember not wanting to talk to anyone and being away from everyone for some time. Just imagine being so excited the previous week and then this happening. I just wanted to know why? Why did this happen to us? What did we do wrong? At that time I needed my husband the most and I’m thankful he was truly supportive. If anything good came out of this, it was that this had brought us closer.
At that moment I didn’t understand. And it took me sometime to cope with the loss. I went online and started educating myself on this topic. I quickly learned that it was very common in the first trimester and so many women go thru this.
But what really helped me grasp the idea that we weren’t going to be parents yet came after we saw another GYNO soon after this occurred. I couldn’t tell if the doctor was trying to help me get over the loss or if it was really the case. She said, “There are many times the fetus or embryo doesn’t make it because of possibility of an abnormality. This is known as chromosomal abnormality and it’s the most common reason women miscarry in the first trimester.” Something about those words and lots of prayer helped me get by.
Today I’m thankful for the gift of being a mother and not of one but of two beautiful kids.
It’s unfortunate that so many women go thru this and its important to understand that it’s NOT our fault. The pain heals with time and we cannot blame ourselves for what we can’t control. Remember to be positive and believe that everything happens for a reason.
To learn more about this topic and overall pregnancy visit.http://americanpregnancy.org/