Lord knows I’m no expert at giving relationship advice. Never the less having the same man for 10 years is enough to say I’ve learned these ten things when it comes to being in a relationship.
Choose your battles: Not everything needs to lead to an argument. There will be times when something small happens. Let it go! No need to fight or argue over something that won’t even matter the next day, next week or next year.
Don’t hold grudges: When your spouse does something to upset you, you have the right to be mad. Just know that holding a grudge doesn’t help any situation and when you think about it, its childish. Also know, one thing doesn’t have to do with another and doing this only makes things worse.
Talk it out: If there is anything that has kept my relationship going strong is this. I think everyone can agree with me when I say no one is a mind reader. If there is something that didn’t sit well with you (no matter how tiny it seems) talk it out. And I don’t mean to sarcastically throw it out there and see if your partner gets the hint. I mean be honest and straight forward. Trust me, if your partner loves you and cares about your feelings, they will hear you out.
Appreciate: We tend to be caught up with life’s busy routine that we forget to thank or simply do something nice for our partner. They do little things for us that maybe they didn’t have to or unexpected, these are the things we should always thank them for. Sometimes we get used to them doing it, we think its their responsibility, when in reality it’s not.
Learn to love past the flaws: This is crucial. I hope anyone reading this has learned that there is no Mr or Ms perfect out there. The longer we are in a relationship the more we learn our partners flaws. Some are not that big of a deal, some are. When we learn to love the individual past his or her flaws we learn to accept them for who they really are. If you chose a person as your partner, it means they have many good qualities and things you liked. Therefore learn to look past that one or two things (in some cases more) and remember the good qualities that attracted them to you in the first place.
Be spontaneous: After so many years together, this can be challenging. Not to mention, when you have small children and a daily routine to go by, but it doesn’t mean its impossible. Something as small as an unexpected kiss, bringing lunch/dinner one day or even a smack on the butt (if you are into those things) can be a way of showing affection.
Stop Assuming: My hubby has a saying “Assumption is the mother of all f*ck ups” and I completely agree. When you start assuming things, you start looking and nit-picking at stuff creating different scenarios in your head about regular things that most likely isn’t true or the reality. Don’t assume, just ask.
It’s the little things that count: When you have someone who reminds you to not forget your keys or makes you a list so you won’t forget anything at the supermarket, they care. Something as small as leaving the umbrella out in front so you wont get wet on a rainy day or kissing you goodbye. These are all signs of someone who cares. They don’t have to do these things but they do it because they love you.
Quality time: It’s important to allocate adult time. This doesn’t have to be a whole weekend or full day, it could easily be a few hours for date night. A movie or show to attend where you and your spouse can enjoy each other’s company away from the kids. Remember that a close family rely on us as parents and our needs are also important.
Your appearance matters-but it’s not everything: At the beginning of any relationship, appearance is usually up there on the chart. (For some more than others) after many years together you learn the love that grew for one another wasn’t all about how you looked. The expensive outfits, car he drove, the matching shoes, the jewelry or make up are things that you can live without and still have a partner you care for and love unconditionally.
I’m sure you may have way more things that help your relationship stay strong. I would love to hear them so feel free to comment below.
& why not check out other awesome relationship/parenting tips at That Mommy Life on my pinterest?
Till next time ladies!